It is that time of year when my family has lots of birthdays to plan for while also creating festive holiday plans. But there is nothing new about this. November follows October, and then comes December. Funny how it happens like that every.single.year. Funny how every single year I say to myself….”Self, you should be super organized and plan for the busy birthday and Christmas season by doing things way ahead of time.” Every year, I have the same number of days to prepare and every year this busy time of year sneaks up on me and I find myself calculating how much time I have left to get all of the Christmas “things” done. Even though my time was the same, this year I found one thing to change holiday stress to contentment.
I will admit this year feels a little different. Some could even say we had more time to plan. But did we? Uh uh. It doesn’t usually work out like I have it planned in my head.
Let’s get this party started!
So, I find myself on a busy November day making a pie for my daughter’s 25th birthday. Like the 24 years before this one, I have made a dessert to mark the occasion. The early years were filled with cakes. We had a Barbie with a beautiful cake dress (didn’t you??) a pretty pony cake, a cake shaped like a tea pot and let’s don’t forget the 3 tiered cake! These were covered in about five pounds of buttercream icing in all the required colors. I’m not gonna lie, the icing was a big motivation behind it for me. The cakes took the better part of two days to create and every spoon and bowl in the kitchen was dirty when I finished.
During the teen years, she discovered a love for decorated cookies, so I baked huge chocolate chip cookies and adorned them with something symbolic of the year. In buttercream icing, of course.
Apple pie prevails
Now her tastes (pun intended) have matured (again) and she has crossed over to pies. She is all in for some apple pie, y’all! Since I am still in the business of making birthday dessert wishes come true, I was determined to make the best apple pie ever! I researched the recipes on Pinterest. There were quite a few “best ever” apple pie recipes to choose from so that did take a minute. I settled on the best of the best and got started. Oh, and don’t forget the incredible made from scratch pie crust! I found a recipe for that, too.
The Mini Epiphany
As I am making the crust for this wonderful pie. I felt it. It was a familiar, well-worn feeling. The sense of “hurry up and get this done because you have a million other things to do”. Immediately, that opened the door to stress and anxiousness. I could seriously feel the tension. The thoughts began to run all over each other: “Why don’t you just get that frozen crust out? It will be easier and less time consuming. And no one would really mind at all. We could just buy a pie at a restaurant even.” And then….then, I had a mini epiphany.
As I was rolling out the dough, my thoughts shifted in a totally different direction. I was reminded to slow down and be mindful of the task I was doing. Not the forty eleven dozen other tasks I think I need to do, but the ONE thing I have chosen to do to show my daughter that I am happy to celebrate her. God continued to remind me: “You like doing this. You love the feel of the dough as you are kneading it. And you enjoy how the smell of apples and cinnamon make the kitchen smell amazing. The sense of accomplishment at creating something beautiful and tasty encourages you. And remember why you are making this pie. You have a daughter that lives close so enjoy this season together.“
Talk about a mind shift! Along with that one simple mind shift, I began to feel calm again. I had a sense of contentment that my time was being spent with intention and purpose. Of course, this change in thinking did not mean I had any less on my to-do list. But it did help me to see these tasks in a different light.
Mindfulness: Change holiday stress to contentment
Since that day, I have gone about my Christmas preparations with a sense of calm and contentment rather than allowing stress and anxiousness to take over. What caused that big shift? Mindfulness. Which almost immediately produced gratefulness. Here is how you can change holiday stress to holiday contentment:
Practice mindfulness – My experience was personal and unique to the situation, but it was an example of practicing mindfulness. To me, mindfulness is simply training your thoughts to stay focused on the task at hand. Enjoy the task and truly let yourself experience it. Instead of multitasking by planning your next thing, just focus your thoughts on what you are doing and why. Are you creating something for someone? Think about what this person means to you. Why are you taking time to create this for them? This is where my heart went straight from mindfulness to gratefulness.
Transfer to other activities – After I realized how much mindfulness brought a sense of calm and contentment to me, I began to see how it applied more and more to other activities. I realize there are times when it is necessary to multitask. It just is. We have a lot of creative pursuits we desire to accomplish during the holidays, but we also need to complete the routine, daily tasks. Choose the holiday tasks like decorating, baking, wrapping gifts or preparing Christmas cards with intention and bring your thoughts directly to the task. Slow your thoughts and enjoy what you are doing.
Evaluate and Adjust
If it is difficult to make this simple change from holiday stress to holiday contentment because your list is still a mile long you may need to make some adjustments. Ask yourself these questions:
- Are all these activities meaningful to me or my family? Do they contribute joy to our lives? You do not have to keep doing the same ol’ things in the same ol’ way. (I just gave you permisson. lol) Evaluate and adjust. Are you sure your family still wants you to make homemade caramel corn for movie night? I made this for a few years for my family to enjoy during our traditional movie night while watching Elf. Somewhere along the way, I realized caramel corn was not exactly their favorite. Do you know how long it took me to make that stuff?! I decided I could spend that time doing something more meaningful and fun for me. Evaluate and adjust.
- Are my expectations realistic? This one gets me every time. I mean, do you really have to make gift baskets for ALL the neighbors with 14 kinds of baked goods, handmade baskets and tags that would make Martha Stewart jealous? Well, only if you started this back in March! If you find yourself in a stressful state because the neighbor gifts are still on your to do list, check your expectations. I mean, really, check them at the door. Let. It. Go. Let me say it again for the Martha’s in the back. It will be ok if you don’t give out 40 baskets to all of the neighbors. And it truly is perfectly acceptable to use a frozen pie crust. I have them in my freezer at this very moment.
Tips for adjusting expectations
- Try these tips instead: Tip #1 – keep it simple by baking one type of treat for everyone and put it in a large mason jar with a ribbon or a pretty cellophane bag. Nice and festive and thoughtful. You can even buy some of those cookie boxes to put them in. Still nice and festive and thoughtful. Tip #2: Maybe you need to narrow your focus and give to a few select neighbors. Tip #3: Wait until New Year’s Day week to give out neighbor gifts or Valentine’s Day. Spread the joy out! Give them something during a time when they don’t normally get anything and when you aren’t as busy. Now, I am not picking on the neighbors. You probably have some fantastic neighbors that deserve a treat. This could apply to all the co-workers on your floor, all of the cousins on your Daddy’s side or all of those teacher gifts or 5th grade classmates. If it brings you joy to give out gifts to all these people in your life, by all means, have fun with it! Bless their socks off! But if you feel an ulcer coming on because of stress and you are exhausted, analyze your expectations. You know you need to lay some of these to rest.
Creativity
One final word about creativity. I have had a lot of fun decorating my house for Christmas this year because of this slower pace and being mindful. Even though no one outside of my family will see it this year, I truly enjoyed doing it. I think the mindfulness shift was one key reason and I was focused more on the process rather than just “getting it done”. The decorating was not for some party or event. It was just because I love the process and the result makes me happy. That alone eased the stress. Creativity can flourish when you have an unhurried pace and a calm mindset.
I hope you are sipping some coffee or tea right now while you reflect on this one thing that can change holiday stress to holiday contentment. What resonated with you? I would love to hear about it in the comments.
For more about mindset:
Oh and here is the recipe for that wonderful apple pie:
I love the idea of being “fully present” in the task at hand with grateful thoughts! 😍
Right? At first, it seems too simplistic but it really began to make a difference in the tasks. I had a lot on my to do list and I didn’t want to resent having so much to do. I believe this helped me finish without so much anxiousness. I was tired, though!! I appreciate your support!
Yes! You captured my tendency to let stress overtake my mindful enjoyment of the holidays so well. I loved your questions: are these activities meaningful to me and my family? Are my expectations realistic? It is so easy to operate on automatic pilot, carrying on time-consuming traditions that really aren’t important anymore. Case in point: I’m about to toss a couple dozen cookies into the garbage because no one in my family wants to eat so many unhealthy sweets anymore (and I’m going on a diet!). If I’d asked your two questions, I could have saved myself a couple of days of baking and a lot of stress. Thank you. I’ll try to remember this next year!
Ah! That is a great example you gave! I’m glad these questions were helpful to you. It is an ongoing, mindful exercise. It is great that you are willing to adjust your expectations rather than harbor bad feelings. Thank you for connecting with me!
Stacia