How to Reduce Sentimental Clutter Without Guilt

Change is inevitable

Some major life events may leave you wondering how to manage your stuff, especially your sentimental clutter.    Sending kids off to college, becoming an empty nester, retiring, or downsizing houses because of a big move tends to force us to re-examine the stuff we have accumulated over the years.   Unfortunately, midlife can also bring about the stages of losing parents or grandparents and force you to deal with the things they left behind.  It isn’t easy but it is possible. Learn how to reduce sentimental clutter without the guilt.

Are you the sentimental type?

On a scale of 1 – 10 how sentimental are you?  I would say a “10” keeps everything!  You might be a “10” if you have every napkin from every wedding you attended, every birthday card you have ever received or you have a drawer full of  ticket stubs from every event you ever attended.    Back in the day, we used to keep things like wedding napkins, corsages and greeting cards.  They are fun to look back at but over the years they lose meaning and fill closets to the brim. 

  You might be a “1” if you allow yourself one box of keepsakes on the shelf in the closet.  Everything else is “use it or lose it” territory.  Most say this is the more desired path and probably does allow for more freedom from guilt or burden and certainly is less to care for and clean.  Surely there is a satisfying place for everyone somewhere on the scale.

My Sentimental Self

 I am high on the scale – hovering around a 7 or 8.  I have several boxes of my kids’ stuff from childhood.  This stems from my early childhood profession and my tendency to celebrate childhood.   Plus, I might have grandkids one day! But the older they get (I don’t get older!) the more I tend to part with.

My love of vintage things motivates me to keep older items that belonged to my grandparents or my husband’s grandparents. These items reflect a past era, and they are part of the stories woven into our families.  However, it does not mean I need to keep everything.  Striking a balance is key and gives you “breathing room” to create the space you need for enjoying life freely.

 Having boxes full of memorabilia and household items tucked away in the garage or closets do not evoke joy or instill pride in your family heritage.  Most likely it feels like a burden. Too much stuff and not enough space causes us to feel stressed and overwhelmed.  On the other hand, creating a carefully curated collection of items from your family allows you to focus on the importance and meaning of each.  The items can become a part of your home decor or find a new utilitarian use.

Why is it so hard to let go? 

If you tend to be on the higher end of the sentimental scale letting go of meaningful items will be harder.  Highly sentimental people tend to transfer emotions to the items based on the memories associated with those things. And perhaps the emotions are tied to a person that is no longer living. There are ways to reduce sentimental clutter without the guilt.

When someone passes away we may feel a sense of obligation to keep more of their things.  This creates an especially difficult attachment.  The items or memorabilia represent the person that we miss so much and sometimes we try to fill the void by connecting with the stuff that represents them.  The thought of getting rid of their things brings about guilt. 

Parents may grieve the passing of childhood and associate the items with happy times, especially during a transition to an empty nest. Letting go of the stuff represents moving on from the stages that validated you as a parent.  There may be strong feelings of comfort and joy associated with certain items or on the other hand a strong feeling of sadness at leaving those stages behind.  So how can you reduce the sentimental clutter without the guilt?

Reduce the clutter and the guilt

If you have been feeling burdened or stressed about the amount of stuff you have stored in your home that you aren’t using it is time to make some changes.  Reducing the amount of sentimental clutter you own can be a positive step in moving into a new stage of life whether it is becoming an empty nester, retiring or just having your children enter a new phase. 

How to let go of guilt

Take Action

Preparation/Mindset for Reducing

To make this process a little less stressful, it is important to be in the right mindset before you begin.  If you are still struggling with one of the major life events mentioned above, give yourself some time and space before tackling the job of reducing sentimental clutter.  When emotions are in upheaval it is best to hold off on making permanent decisions. 

When you have gained solid footing with your emotions take some time to reflect and make a specific plan for dealing with the task of reducing sentimental clutter.  Make a list of the areas or categories of items that you need to go through and plan your time accordingly.  Your list would include things like “dishes”, “books”, “Dad’s golfing stuff” or “kids’ closets”, “bookshelves” or “garage shelves” Be flexible with your planning to allow time to process emotions as you go.  It may take you a lot longer to go through your adult child’s books and childhood toys than you anticipated.  Or you may need extra time to process emotions or reminisce about memories as you go. 

Try to start out rested and well-nourished!  Make sure you have cleared this time of any other responsibilities so that you do not feel hurried or rushed. The strategies below will help you reduce your sentimental clutter without guilt of getting rid of things.

Other strategies for reducing clutter:

1.  Take time for prayer or meditation to prepare your heart for this big step.
2. Stick with positive self-talk – write out some thoughts if you need it in front of you.
3. Add music or aromatherapy to create a positive environment.
4. Ask a friend to join you.  It can be helpful to have someone to help you talk through decisions.
5. Gather your supplies ahead of time (labeled boxes or bags, tape, marker, trash can)

Now Get Moving

Now that you have your plan, it is time to put it into action.

1. Label your bags or boxes: “donate” and “trash”.
2.  Move the items to keep into a separate place. 
3. When you finish one area or category put the keep items into their new home. Will you start using the serving pieces that belonged to Aunt Sarah?  Move them to the dining room hutch. Do this with as many items as you can.  Put them where they will be used or displayed.  This may create a domino effect of organizing where you need to get rid of some of the items you were using.
4. Make a list of any donated items for tax purposes and take a picture of anything you want to document.  Pack these up and put them in the car or garage for the next trip to the donation site.
5. Celebrate your reclaimed space!

Bonus tip: If you are on the fence about getting rid of several items you can box them up and label it clearly with the date and contents. Put the box in a storage area for a designated time (6 weeks, 3 months, etc). Put a reminder of the time in your phone. When the time is up, note whether you missed, needed or used any of the items. If not, that may make your decision to part with certain items easier.

Some final reminders

The key word I have been using throughout is “reduce”.  This doesn’t mean get rid of EVERYTHING that is sentimental.  Having some things is not the same as having none.  Don’t force yourself to get rid of it all because you think that is what you are “supposed” to do.  I have more stuff than I need.  Sometimes I complain about it.  Sometimes I am glad I have it because I love to switch out my décor, create new displays or collections and I ENJOY those.  It makes me happy.  I am still working on letting go of the self-imposed guilt of having a lot of stuff.  If my stuff does not hinder my life but brings value or joy to my life, then I should not feel guilty about it.

The final reminder is that this is a process.  Sometimes this process takes years.  I evaluate my stuff frequently over time.  We have moved a lot so that forces me to curate my stuff.  This is a call to also be sensitive to the timing.  It is coming up on 8 years since I lost my Mom tragically and suddenly. My sister and I were forced to deal with the all of her stuff at once.  We went through everything fairly quickly, but we kept most of it.  It was a lot.  But since we were experiencing this intense and sudden grief it was the best thing for us to do at the time.  I think we would have regretted letting go of things prematurely. 

Through the years we have both let go of more and more of her things realizing that those items were not useful or helpful.  They were becoming a burden. Be kind to yourself while experiencing these events that drastically change your life. 

I hope this encourages you to believe you can reduce sentimental clutter without the burden of guilt. Where do you need to start? Let me know in the comments if you are struggling with sentimental stuff. What will you do to reduce? Don’t forget to sign up for your free guide to “reducing sentimental clutter without guilt”.